


He's Cursed

by RedKitsune



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, F/M, Missions Gone Wrong, angry guard dog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 16:24:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18760075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedKitsune/pseuds/RedKitsune
Summary: Allie was excited for a mission, her first proper mission since being cleared for field work. Finally she was out from behind the desk. With Clint Barton as her assigned partner and supervising agent, she expected nothing to go wrong. Her first lesson as a field agent however was when Clint’s involved there will be flirting. Her second lesson? Nothing goes right with Clint involved.





	He's Cursed

**Author's Note:**

> For @thatfanficstuff‘s 1,500+ follower challenge on tumblr (holy smokes- that’s a lot of followers, congrats fyi) with the prompt: “Great, if we die we die smelling nice.” Admittedly, I tweaked the wording some. I really wanted to do something with Loki but this just screamed Clint.

Everything was going according to plan. It was all going so well, too well really. But Allie didn’t think to question their luck. It was a simple intelligence recon mission and really the only reason she had a partner was because she was still a newer agent. Later that night she would realize that nothing went according to plan with Clint and in truth she was on the mission purely to try and keep him from somehow self destructing.

Stealing a glance back at him, she tried to pretend like her ass wasn’t right in his face as they crawled through the air ducts. Echoing through the metal ducts they could still hear the barks of the very large and very angry dog. She tried to blame the dog for the mess they were in. Yet it was hard to do so when the agent behind her had no pants on.

It had been going so damn well for them. They had gotten into the office easy. None of the computers were particularly secure and the information was easy to gather though slow to download onto their drives. Everything was going according to plan.

As they stood around waiting, they chatted. Allie tried to ignore Clint’s flirtatious banter. It was nothing more than friendly talk, after all. She tried to think nothing of his warm smiles and quick compliments.

Clint Barton was known for being a world class flirt and it would do her no good to entertain the idea that the senior agent would even recognize her after the mission was over and a few weeks had passed. Far too many female agents had had their hearts broken by falling for his easy smiles and quick complements.

He was cute however, with his messy blonde hair sticking up every which way and scratches on his face. Clint Barton was a mess but at least he was a handsome mess. Eventually some woman would be very lucky when he was ready to actually pick a woman for longer than a few weeks.

It was all going so well until the sound of growling filled the room drawing both their attention from the light flirting they had been entertaining themselves with. Allie couldn’t even begin to say where the hell the massive angry dog came from or why the hell it was only just now showing up. In the end, it really didn’t matter because he was here now and he was very unhappy to see them.

“Good Doggy...” Clint raised his hands in a pleading motion as if the dog had a gun or something.

Allie didn’t have time to make fun of him for the action though. After snatching the drive out of the last computer- download 90% complete was going to have to be good enough, she tried to find an escape route that wouldn’t have one or both of them turned into dog treats. She really didn’t want to have to shoot the dog and was sure Clint felt the same way. Lord knows he talked enough about his own dog waiting for him back at home.

The best she could find was the air duct above the desk. The dog wouldn’t be able to chase them at least. When they dog started stalking forward one tense step at a time, it was clear they had no time left to find another option. This would have to do.

Allie calmly stepped on the desk and reached up with the tip of a knife to pop off the vent cover. She was careful to move slowly, calmly in an effort to not trigger the still snarling dog to lunge at them. Being eaten alive by a dog wasn’t how she wanted to die today.

“Eat him.” She lightly said, pointing to Clint. “He eats enough pizza that I’m sure he tastes like one.”

“Want to test that theory out after we get out of here?” Clint winked at her. While his attention was split for a few moments, the very large, very angry dog took a few steps closer.

“Okay, time to go.” Clint was beside her in a blink of the eye. “Up we go with you.”

His large hands gripped her waist and he lifted her as if she weighed nearly nothing. If it was any other time she would have marveled at the display of strength though she shouldn’t have been surprised. It took great strength to draw the string back on his bow of choice and many of the men at shield at tried at one time or another to pull the string back and hold it steady. The feat that Clint made look so easy was a challenge for so many of them on their best days.

Allie gripped the edge of the vent and guided herself into the narrow space. She hardly had to pull herself up with Clint’s hands moving from her waist to her ass where they gave a solid shove, sliding her further into the vent. With a greedy squeeze to her rear first, Clint’s hands moved to her thighs and he hoisted her further inside. Allie quickly pulled her knees under her and made room for him to join her in the safety of the vent.

Behind them she could hear the snap of the dog’s jaws only to be followed by a solid thump and whimper. Part of her was surprised that Clint- a well known dog lover- would kick the dog away. She supposed that even he didn’t want to be eaten alive by an angry dog. The dog wasn’t detoured however and as Clint pulled himself up into the vent the dog lunged again.

Allie struggled to see what was happening, looking over her shoulder in the tight space. Clint seemed to be struggling, wiggling and grunting as he pulled himself up only to drop down a bit again. There was a ripping sound while she turned onto her back, finally getting a good look at Clint.

“Why are you undoing your pants?”

“Dog has them.” He actually smiled up toward her as she watched the pants slide down his hips and out of view.

Below there was a thump that told her the angry dog was indeed attached to the other end. He was damned lucky that the dog hadn’t gotten a mouthful of his leg. Allie tried not to look at the royal purple boxers Clint was wearing or the way that they seemed to hug his strong thighs.

This mission was going to be the death of her.

Actually, no. Allie decided that she simply would keep moving forward through the duct work and not look behind her. She would survive. She would just not look at Clint and after they made it back, she would never have to speak to him again. It wouldn’t be too hard to ignore the flirting, right? Surely he would tone it down with his pants gone.

The office shared the building with a small shop and it would be easy enough to crawl through the ducts to the shop, drop down, leave and survive. She didn’t have to look behind her at Clint. She didn’t have to pay him any attention at all.

“At least I’ve got a kick ass view.” That was it.

She kicked out behind her without even thinking, nailing Clint’s arm and causing his whole upper body to crash down against the metal with an exaggerated cry of pain that was cut off by swearing when the metal below them gave way.

Down they fell. Thankfully, they had been above the shop at this point. Unfortunately they landed in a heap on the display counter full of perfume bottles with thankfully thick glass. They remained unbroken but lids scattered and their clothes soaked up the fluid.

“Great,” Clint groaned as he sat up. “at least if we die, we die smelling nice.”

“Fuck you Barton.” Allie hissed as she sat up. The fall was going to leave a mark. Slick with perfume, she clumsily slipped off the counter and onto the ground in a heap.

“You wanna?” Clint looked over the edge at her, legs hanging over the edge and arm clutching the edge. “My place is close by, you know.”

“One of us is going to die before we get out of here.”

“It’ll be fine. What else can go wrong?” Allie asked only to realize that those words should be banned from being spoken anywhere near Clint Barton.

His arm slipped out from under him and he crashed his side down on the edge of the counter. With his weight already largely hanging off the edge, gravity took him down. Allie didn’t have time to move as the heavy weight of him crashed toward her.

Luckily he caught himself on his forearms and knees before he squished her. The result however left her caged below him, his bare knees on either side of her thighs and his blue eyes looking into her brown eyes from just a few inches.

“We’re going to die before we get out of here.” Clint stated simply. “A kiss before I die?”

“We’ll be fine.”

“You sure? Because unless we get the hell out of here those big guys with guns are going to finish clearing the office and be looking for us in here in no time.”

“What big guys?”Allie was shoving him back in no time only to crouch behind the counter. Clint pointed outside the display windows where a large black SUV screeched to a halt. “How do you know they have guns? Or that here for us?”

Clint laughed and she wanted to kick him again. If it was any other situation she would have loved to hear him laugh like that. It was so damn carefree and honest. But today it didn’t matter how handsome Clint Barton was, how good he looked in those purple boxers or how nice his laugh was- this man was cursed.

“Because it’s easier to assume that.” They watched as the doors opened and the men spilled out of the SUV.

“Okay they are big.” She admitted. The men grabbed guns and turned to face the building. “And they have guns.” She whispered.

“And they just went into the office.” Clint added.

“I hate you.” Allie’s head fell back and thumped against the counter.

“Think you could learn to love me?” Clint smiled and she wondered for a moment if he was serious. Of course he wasn’t or at least that’s what she told herself as he focused back on the task at hand. “There is door out in the back of the shop… Probably.”

“Probably?” Allie wanted to scream. Still she got on her hands and knees and crawled toward the back room of the shop. They made enough of a mess in the shop landing on the display and wrecking the ceiling.

“Why are we crawling? Not that I mind having your ass in my face some more.”

“I don’t want them to see us, duh.” She rolled her eyes at him.

“If they look in it’s pretty damn obvious we came crashing through the ceiling and landed on the counter. We could probably walk.”

“God I stink.” Allie grumbled trying to ignore Clint.

“I can help you wash it off.”

“Fuck you, Barton.”

“I’d like that. My back’s a bit sore so it’s all you Babe.” If they didn’t die before they made it back to headquarters Allie was going to kill Clint herself. She decided. It was certain. She hated him and his handsome face. When she looked back to shoot him a glare he winked at her as they entered the back storeroom.

“Maybe we should start with dinner first though? Go out for pizza?”

“Are you asking me on a date while in your boxers?” Allie was dumbfounded while they made their way through the small room toward the illuminated EXIT sign.

“And covered in at least 13 different perfumes. What do you say? Please say yes.”

“You’re wearing pants for it.” Allie hated herself for agreeing. But if it would make him shut up for five minutes, what harm could it do? After all the trouble he caused her, he owed her food at least.

“If I must.” Clint sighed before perking up. “Is that a ‘yes’?”

Allie didn’t answer as she pushed open the door. Fresh air filled her lungs. Glancing back at Clint, she decided not to answer until she smelled like a human again.

“Well?!” Allie took off running down the alley toward the car they stashed down the block. Looking back at him, she winked at him. That was the closest to a straight answer he would get from her. God she hoped he showered before a pizza date at least.


End file.
